If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
