Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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