did you get engaged???
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
