I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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