Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
