I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
