ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
