can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
