The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
