My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
