btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm jealous of your bromance
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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