I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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