trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
