I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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