he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
