is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
