he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
