It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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