C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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