Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
