i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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