so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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