will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
is it fun? or sober?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
