Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
my poor anus
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
