All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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