Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
