Your dad touched me again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
