i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
