so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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