Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize