Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
