so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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