Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
