just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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