My Higher Power is John Stamos
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
