So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
