He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
