ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry about my life...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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