Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
