how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
