I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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