i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
