I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
