He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
