nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
