Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize