so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
