awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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