Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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