Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
