We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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