Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Panties = found
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
