I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
