Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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