I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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