You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How's work?
Spinning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
