It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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