me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
please come you make the beer taste better
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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