I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
